LIVE RNC UPDATE:

Switching over from "Blade Runner", I stumble upon a less convincing android: Cindy McCain. Yes, this heavily made up replicant is doing a half way decent impression of a human being as she proudly introduces the man who lovingly referred to her as a trollop and a c-nt in a single sentence. The contrast with Michelle Obama is striking.

McCain now up on stage. Appearing with his gold tie against what looks like a green screen. I keep expecting a Stephen Colbert "Make McCain Exciting" contest to be announced. There he stands claiming that the Trollop/C-unt is his inspiration more than he is hers. After letting his lady running mate take countless cheap shots against Obama, he now takes the high road and claims that more unites him and Obama than separates them. For god sakes: I'm starting to well up.

Now the man who can't remember how many homes he has (seven) is declaring his deep understanding of the poor folks who are struggling to hold their homes. Now he flashes a mean little smile as the U.S.A. chanters applaud a protester being dragged out of the building. Now he extols the glory of the bi-partisan Barracuda whom he met once and vetted between ribald jokes. It just struck me: He and Palin look like a pair of his and her injection molded action figures. G.I. John and Barbie Barracuda. Now he usurps the rhetoric of his opponent to assure America that change is coming.

Now he talks about all the people who lost their lives fighting a war that didn't need to be fought against a country that had no relationship to the one that attacked us. Now he talks about the need to stay the course in honor of these soldiers. Wait... it just hit me: What ever happened to that guy, you know..the one who funded the 9/11 attacks on us. The guy who we swore we'd get dead or alive. What's his name again?

Now the man who cynically sold his soul to the right wingnut agenda of George W. Bush (A man he hates) talks about the need to stay true to our principles.

OK...I've heard enough. I think I'll get back to the end of "Blade Runner" (or even the end of the Roddick-Djokovic match) before he starts slamming Obama's economic protectionism and I'm forced to agree with him for a nanosecond...

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P.S. Right after Djokovic breaks America's heart with a victory over Roddick at the U.S. Open, I turn back to PBS and catch the spectacle of red, white and blue balloons and U.S.A. chants filling the arena in the wake of McCain's speech.

I will say, that if someone had just arrived from 8 years living with the indigenous people of Papua New Guinea and heard this speech, they would be certain that this man represents a political party that has been out of power for ages and is eager to finally get back in. They would be shocked speechless to learn that this is a guy whose party has in fact been in power for the last 8 years and would assume that all that time in the jungle had irrevocably altered their ability to process the realities of the contemporary civilized world.

LFAQs:

Who was most conspicuous in his absence during the RNC: Osama Bin Laden, Dick Cheney or George W. Bush?

Is it way too glib to say that we can all relate to John McCain because we are all Prisoners of War: Of an undeclared war prosecuted by this administration against the time-honored principles and practices of our nation?

Were all registered black Republicans and registered pretty Republicans in the arena found by the camera tonight?

Were all the registered black Republicans and registered pretty Republicans in America in the arena tonight?

UNNATURAL SHOCK OF THE DAY: (only 869 to go):

John McCain winding up his big acceptance speech by borrowing a phrase from Al Gore!! ("I will fight for you.")