QUICK MORNING LFAQs:

What is a more likely event: Herb Williams being named coach of the Knicks or Hillary Clinton winning the Democratic nomination?

How could the Suns fall for the same Spurs play that the Knicks went retarded on earlier this season--with Ginobili driving to the hole down three with time running out and everyone collapsing on him, leaving a guy wide open at the perimeter for the game tying three? (Yes, Shaq pulled a Balkman, yes D'Antoni pulled an Isiah...and, yes, alas, Tim Duncan pulled a Reggie Miller.)

Is Hillary using Bin Laden's image in scare tactic negative ads against Obama even more objectionable than the Republicans doing so? Will she "slip" at least once and refer to him as Osama before conceding the nomination? Or will it be during her concession speech?

Why has George W. Bush appeared on "Deal or No Deal?" more often than he has on Meet the Press or Charlie Rose? (Bad question: Answer too obvious.)

Better question: Was the prestige and dignity of the Presidency sullied by George W. Bush's appearance on "Deal or No Deal?" or was the prestige and dignity of "Deal or No Deal?" sullied by the appearance of George W. Bush? (Sorry, again, bad question: Answer too obvious.)

GOAL OF THIS EARTH DAY:

To decrease my carbon footprint but increase my jargon footprint.