APOLOGY OF THE DAY:

For that semi-conceptual, semi-lame April Fools post.

But at least it's better than the guy who proposed to his girlfriend and then said "April Fools."

CLARIFICATION OF THE DAY:

To the best of my knowledge, there was no such guy.

LFAQ of THE DAY:

Yes, it's a terrible thing. But why is it that we know 4000 times as much about the pregnant marine who was killed in the U.S. than we do about the 4000 troops who've died in Iraq?

SARTORIAL/POLITICAL OBSERVATION OF THE DAY:

Saw Bush strutting out to a chorus of boos in his bright red Washington Nationals jacket to throw the first pitch of the season. It reminded me of seeing him in that now infamous "Mission Accomplished" flight jacket in 2004. It strikes me: The guy loves to play dress up and make believe--although he's not really interested in or competent for the real thing. It's a shame the presidency doesn't have a uniform. Cause he'd probably like to dress up and pretend to be doing that job too.

CARTOON WITHOUT ILLUSTRATION OF THE DAY:

VIS: Someone has clearly just sneezed...really loudly.

MAN: "Jesus!!!!....I mean, God Bless You."

RANDOM THOUGHTS OF THE DAY:

a)

It's be really strange if I heard a cell phone ringing from inside of me. And the people around me heard it too. And I had no recollection of swallowing a cell phone. It might be enough to get me to believe in the supernatural. Or at least to get me to visit a doctor.

b)

It's be really strange if a man (who was, it should be noted, not an OB-GYN doctor) walked over to a woman and broke the news to her that she was pregnant with his child!

PROPOSED POLITICAL PROPAGANDA OF THE DAY:

Moveon.org is challenging people to submit 30 second commercials that communicate why Obama should be the next president of the United States. I tried to avoid messages that were bitter and negative or that merely preached to the choir and I came up with the following idea which I submit in roughly scripted form for your feedback.

"America in the Mirror"

We open on a slightly stooped, run down, disheveled looking Uncle Sam walking down the street. He gets a glimpse of himself in a full length mirror and does a double take. He isn't proud of what he sees.

He adjusts his hat--so it's no longer askew.

He straightens out his off-kilter bowtie.

He notices a bit of food in his white beard and he removes it--then combs his beard straight.

He realizes a few buttons on his shirt are misaligned so he re-buttons them correctly--then tucks in his shirt.

He adjusts his jacket, shaking out the wrinkles.

Now he likes what he sees. He stands up tall and gives himself a little "That's more like it!" nod.

TITLE CARD: America, Let's feel good about ourself again.

TITLE CARD: Elect Barack Obama.

Cut back to the new, high self-esteem Uncle Sam giving himself a little "Hey, you're looking pretty good!" look in the mirror.

OBAMA: (Unseen audio). Yes. We. Can.