MELTY CHEESE, MARCH FOOLS Etc.

NBA OBSERVATION OF THE DAY:

Chris Webber. Has there ever been a bigger higher profile almost/not quite/loser? Ewing--spewing his guarantees of victory--came up short repeatedly in the pros but at least won once at G-town. Barkely never won, but never blew it either by a boneheaded play or a fear of taking the big shot. Ditto for Karl Malone. I think only Webber can claim to have come so close and blown it on both the NCAA's and the NBA's biggest stage. (For those who don't remember: He completely disappeared when the Lakers came back from 17 points down in the 4th quarter against Sacramento in 2002 to steal the Conference Finals--leaving it to Mike Bibby and Peja to take every big shot.)

ALMOST PREMATURELY WRITTEN SPORTS-RELATED EULOGY OF THE DAY:

Such sadness at seeing Davidson's remarkable run coming to an end--with Stephen Curry's magic failing him down the stretch against Kansas. Each time he'd be wide open for a three, you just felt the shot was supposed to go in...and it almost felt like a mistake when it didn't--so conditioned had we become to his clutch exploits....(oops...wait...perhaps I've written this eulogy prematurely. I just see he nailed a parabolic three to pull Davidson within 2 at 59-57 wi th 54 seconds left. Wow. And now they got a stop. Holy shh---Ok, Curry bringing it up with 16 seconds...dribbling,12-11-10... dribbling 5-4-3...wait...he's cut his dribble and is...giving it up?!?...for a long 3-point attempt?!?! NO!!!!!!...ok, never mind...the previously begun eulogy stands.). Anyhow, it was a great run...with a painful ending. As most great runs (and almost all runs in general) end up having.

NEWLY DISCOVERED AREA OF PROFICIENCY OF THE DAY:

Retroactively filling out the brackets. I'm really good at it.

SPORTS HIGHTLIGHT OF THE WEEKEND:

Bush getting booed at the Washington National's opening day game--and then looking petulant and hurt in the broadcast booth.

LFAQs:

Am i subtly being influenced to drink more in observation of the parallel life i should be living in Las Vegas this weekend or is it just the time of year or am i just becoming an alcoholic?

Are more handshakes being replaced by cheek kisses or by fist bumps?

EXCUSE OF THE DAY: (In honor of Hillary)

Sorry I'm late for the status meeting. The sniper fire on my commute was heavier than usual.

REVELATION OF THE DAY: (In honor of David Paterson)

Even blind guys have a wandering eye.

CONFESSION OF THE DAY:

I always feel like a nut--at least when it comes to the choice famously offered by 2 iconic American candy bars.

UNDER-REPRESENTED GROUP OF THE DAY:

March Fools.

CONCEPTUAL ART IDEA OF THE DAY: (The following words written on a mobius strip.)

still running river running still

PROPOSED HEADLINE OF THE DAY:

Conspiracy theorists claim second shooter in Kurt Cobain suicide.

COMEDY OBSERVATION:

In comedy, chaos tends to be funny--except when manufactured by Robin Williams.

CULTURAL OBSERVATION:

Leonard Lopate after long absence: Just too insufferably calm and reassuring. He'd make the apocalpyse sound like a warm bath.

PROMISORY NOTE OF THE DAY:

Some brief comments about Denis Johnson's "Tree of Smoke" which I'm almost done reading.

SENTENCE OF THE DAY:

In the last 22 years, not a single day has gone by when I have not not thought about you.

PEEVE OF THE DAY:

Those Taco Bell "Melty cheese" commercials...where the phrase "melty cheese" is used ad nauseum. Melty Cheese; The final breakdown of reason, civilization and the articulate order.

UNCANNY EXPERIENCE OF THE DAY:

There is something incredibly creepy about opening a door or turning a corner in tight quarters and stumbling upon a still and silent person--who just stands there--failing to acknowledge your approach or warn you of his or her presence. Very Blair Witch. Also very Teddy's hallway.

BILL MAHER HIGHLIGHTS OF THE DAY:

"Bush the uniter has united the middle class with the lower class."

"The corporations believe in the free market for profits but they want to socialize losses."

EXCHANGE OF THE DAY:

Man sees woman in 32 t-shirt.

-Magic Johnson?
-No. Old Navy.

Commentary on the death of meaning (and general reduction of signification to fashion) to follow.

NAME OF THE DAY:

Edelweiss Azuro. (I'm a sucker for cross-language color references).

ACCOUNT OF THE DAY:

Getting out of a train by the river at dusk. Walking in the gloaming towards the just-after-sunset on a wide and empty downtown street. An alternate dream topography of a somehow familiar place. I start to run then decide to believe I can fly and I lift off the ground--at first so precipitously that I am afraid it is a metaphor for my death but then in a more controlled way, leaning forward into the unknown, soaring in some manageably giddy angle of ascent. Before i know it my interlude of weightlessness has ended and I am back on the ground in strange but not unpleasant encounters with the dead. My father, in a little boat he is paddling around and a woman I once loved, on some side street. Things that can no longer be remembered were said, and shapes I can no longer inhabit were assumed. Upon awakening, I bear within me a trace of the memory of flight and loss; familiarly twinned in half familiar places.

DESCRIPTION OF THE DAY:

It is a space where all the givens are no longer given. Where all the givens have been taken back.

RANDOM SINGLE SENTENCE PORTRAIT OF THE DAY:

He liked to moderate every conversation he was in.