OBSERVATION:
The subtext of all men pontificating about sports or finance or politics is "I like the smell of my farts."
LFAQ:
I just read that Major Hasan is now conscious and communicative after being taken off of his ventilator. What was his first thought after returning to consciousness: Where are my 40 virgins? or Oh FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!?
ODD EXPERIENCE:
A while ago I bought a huge photograph of a recently defaced publicly commissioned portrait of Saddam Hussein that was taken by an intrepid photojournalist days after the fall of Bagdad. The huge, framed Saddam portrait has been in my office ever since. (Half obscured by some other stuff rather than proudly and provocatively displayed on a (non-existent) wall.) Anyhow, we are in massive cleanup mode for an imminent office move/downsizing and so, on Friday, I schlepped this giant Saddam poster home. I realized I was getting some odd looks and, it was only mid-way through the bus ride that I realized that I had the portrait side facing away from me. I half-apologetically flipped it around--and then felt a bit better. Although, curiously, new people who'd gotten onto the bus after I'd turned the tyrant's face towards me, still gave me strange looks. :)
I though it'd be pretty cool to do a little video documentary of someone schlepping a huge portrait of Saddam around with him all day. This could of course be done --with varying degrees of risk to one's physical well-being--with huge iconic portraits of other hated figures (Hitler, Osama, Joe Lieberman etc.)
LFAQ:
As an indicator of psychological instability, is a man's neck tattoo more closely akin to a woman's lower back "tramp stamp" or a breast tattoo?
SNAPSHOT INTO THE SOUL OF RUDY GUILIANI OF THE DAY:
BFK: Bernard F-cking Kerik.
Just want to point out that on the day that Rudy Guiliani was celebrating the Yankees World Series victory, his right hand man and our one time nominee for the Head of Homeland Security, Bernard Freaking Kerik, was pleading guilty to all kinds of charges of fraud and tax evasion--and providing a nice reminder of the kind of creepy thug our self-reinvented "hero" former mayor really is. Below is an excerpt from the Times:
"Former New York City Police Commissioner Bernard Kerik admitted in court Thursday that he lied to the White House while being considered for chief of Homeland Security.
Kerik, hailed as a hero after the 9/11 attack, also pleaded guilty to lying on tax returns, a loan application and a questionnaire he filled out when he was seeking a separate U.S. government position.
Under his plea bargain, which short-circuited as many as three federal trials, he was not required to plead guilty to the main corruption charges against him. Those charges will be dismissed.
In a low but firm voice, Kerik said "guilty" eight times as he admitted to eight felonies, including lying about paying taxes on his children's nanny, hiding income from the Internal Revenue Service and faking a charitable contribution.
Kerik acknowledged failing to declare on his returns book royalties, consultant fees and the use of a BMW."
SPORTS MEDIA COMMENT:
Why the Wall Street Journal Should not Report on Basketball:
In a rare basketball column, they listed the best starting fives ever thusly:
1. Jazz 1996-7 Stockton/Hornacek/Russell/Malone/Ostertag
2. Bulls 1995-6 Harper/Jordan/Poppen/Rodman/Longley
3. Buklls 1996-7: Harper/Jordan/Pippen/Rodman/Longley
4. Lakers 1984-5 D. Johnson/Scott/Worthy/Rambis/Abdul-Jabbar
5. Celtics 1986-7 M. Johnson/Ainge/Bird/McHale/Parrish
No. I am not interested in quibbling over the rankings (generated allegedly by some sophisticated statistical analysis of how many wins a given starting five produces...without reference to the team's bench production). But no one who knows ANYTHING about basketball confuses Dennis Johnson and Magic Johnson--let alone puts each in the jersey of his most hated rivals. And no copy editor or proofreader possibly sees that absurd confusion of the two legendary Johnsons and fails to 1) instantly correct it and 2) proceed to give the author endless shit about it. It's about the equivalent of swapping Hitler and Roosevelt in the WW2 leadership line-ups.
Despite its obvious conservative Republican political bias, The Wall Street Journal contains some fine writing. But it should restrict its forays into sports reporting to "sports" its writers and readers know something about: Golf, Cricket, Polo, Sailing etc.
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
" Americans don’t hate rich people, but they do despise those who behave as if the rules don’t apply to them."
--Frank Rich in Op-Ed discussing the Bloomberg electoral backlash and the resentment of Goldman Sachs and other titans of Wall Street who are perceived to have benefitted handsomely from taxpayer money while the rest of America continues to hurt.
LFAQ:
Has anyone ever tweeted "Having Sex!" or "The plane is going down!"?
OBSERVATION:
Ambien. like someone forcing your eyelids shut even though you're not yet sleepy. It's sleep that comes from outside rather than from within.
INTERESTING THING I LEARNED:
That by a sheer happenstance of history, the tearing down of the Berlin wall took place on November 9--the same date as Crytsalnacht.
LFAQ:
Is it true that an empire begins to decline the moment it ends its draft?
MORE FRAGMENTS FOUND DURING CLEAN-UP (WITH SAME ASS-COVERING STIPULATION/CAVEAT AS I OFFERED UP LAST TIME).
He was a beat slow. And the was a conservative estimate.
Finding innovative new ways to thwart you with a smile.
The decor could be described as eclectic verging on entropic.
Mort and Todd. (A deadly duo).
New Category: Self-unemployed.
Random Single Sentence: Had a wonderful gift for artfully simulated concern.
Idea: Guy taking covert photos of inanimate objects. Like a member of the inanimate object papparazzi.
"I don't know what she said. I was too busy listening."
Life Stage Description: Somewhere between hip and hip replacement.